you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
