Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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