I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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