Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
