what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Drunk is a universal language darling
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
