sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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