Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
