I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My hand turned me down
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
