addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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