I love black thongs
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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