I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
that is very illegal...i love you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
