I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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