You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize