I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
