The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
