An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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