all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize