1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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