ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
