next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
did i walk over a car last night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
