You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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