I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
