I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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