wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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