He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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