Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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