she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
