i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
