well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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