I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize