What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
