I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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