Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
