I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
