Swine flu. Run for my life!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
