mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
