its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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