her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
