and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
