I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
