whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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