You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You need Xanax blowdarts
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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