Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is the high leading the old right now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
