i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
