the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
