I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I party with great urgency now.
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