seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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