I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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