I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize