I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The Olympian is in my bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize