i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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