i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
