I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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