Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
