So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
