I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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