and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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